The Laws of Motion
by Jokercide4Me
Summary: The relationship between forces acting on an object and the motion of that object are simple enough, you just have to know how to look. Mad Love inspired.
1. Chapter 1

_Mad Love is so appropriately named. I love it yet it drives me mad! There is so much in it that simply doesn't make sense or is left unexplained. (Yes I do realize it isn't reality, go away mean people.)  
So like several other authors, I decided try my own version, fixing my little quibbles as I went, and reach the same conclusion, well more or less. ;)_

_  
_The cheery warmth of the summer sun danced in dappled patterns across the faded red car as it passed under the ancient trees lining the twisting road. Ignoring the hitchhiker warning signs scattered like so much litter on the sides of the asphalt, the little car rumbled onwards, turn after turn, only slowing at the huge ironwork gate that silently crept open at its approach. Unexpectedly the trees disappeared, the full blindingly bright light effortlessly illuminating the car's destination. Creeping to a stop along the empty road, a blonde haired woman stepped out, gazing in awe at the sight ahead.

Arkham Asylum towered over the landscape, pale grey buildings dramatically showcasing their gothic ornamentation. Stone arches and jagged spires pierced the sky as gigantic statues gazed expressionlessly down from their lofty heights. Several guard towers could be seen, giving it a somewhat militaristic feel, but still the sprawling complex appeared to been plucked out of a dark fairytale.

_This was it_. All the hours of effort, the demeaning jobs, the proverbial blood, sweat and tears were paying off. Finally she had fulfilled her dreams, proved to the world that she was worth something. She was a newly graduated doctor interning at one of the most famous asylums in the country, far beyond anyone else's meager expectations. _She'd made it._ Climbing back into her battered vehicle Dr. Quinzel continued on towards the employee checkpoint, ready to change the world.

* * *

"Stand up, face the wall."

The gruff voice of the guard pulled him out of a simply lovely daydream. Batman struggled uselessly, tightly bound to a brightly colored Maypole while he danced joyously below, wrapping a length of razorwire ever tighter around B-man's bloody chest. A slow and delightfully painful death was sure to follow. Frowning momentarily at the interruption, his trademark grin soon returned as he remembered the reason behind this unusual intrusion into his personal time.

"Stand up and face the wall!" Louder this time as the hulking guard stood at the doorway, his partner with a taser at the ready.

"Sorry Marcus but you're going to have to wait, I've got a date with Arkham and you know how he hates sloppy seconds." He giggled at Marcus's furious expression as he was violently yanked up from his bed, the many restraints quickly being locked around his entire body.

"Shut up freak."

"Mmm, into clown bondage are you? Very kinky." His smile grew ever wider as he was roughly pushed about, the tight chains digging into his skin. Looking over at the man still in the doorway he giggled again. "Come on Bobby, don't you think its time we kissed and made up?" Winking flirtatiously, he added, "Tongue action your choice."

The last time he'd been summoned to see Dr Arkham, Bobby hadn't been quick enough with the restraints. A swift kick had sent him crashing into the wall, and Joker had happily bounced up and down on the man's chest, breaking three ribs, before Marcus and the others brought him down and sedated him. Pumped too full of drugs to do much more than drool, his appointment with Dr. Arkham had been rescheduled. It had been a fantastic coincidence that a do-gooder health inspector had arrived later in the day. Appalled at The Joker's near vegetative state, his misguided savior threatened to close the asylum down if he was ever drugged like that again. He'd laughed for days at the joke.

Unfortunately, the temporary guards refused to have anything to do with him if he wasn't heavily sedated. So he'd been kept in his boring old cell while they forged paperwork about his daily activities. He'd heard he was doing well in the weekly yoga classes.

"I said shut up!" A sudden punch in the stomach caused Joker to laugh hysterically as he fell to his knees. As soon as the final lock had clicked into place they quickly drug him into the hallway, roughly strapping him onto the large handcart before wheeling him off to the interview rooms.

The sound of his laughter echoed eerily through the corridor long after he was gone.

_I know its short but fear not, updates should be coming along shortly as I'm already working on chapter 14!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks for sticking with me to chapter two!_ _FYI – Arkham Asylum's layout is based upon the videogame.  
_

"Hiya Doc!"

Shouting like an overexcited five-year old, Joker beamed down at Dr. Arkham's head. As he was being un-harnessed from the cart and swiftly refastened to the sturdy metal chair bolted to the floor he scanned the man from head to toe, boldly announcing, "You look fatter than I remember."

Without glancing up from the piles of paperwork in front of him Dr. Arkham nodded to the guards as they silently stepped outside. The wooden table wobbled slightly as he shifted his papers from one pile to another. "Good morning Joker."

"Joker?!" Gasping in mock disbelief the clown's voice quickly deepened into a more mischievous tone. "What about all that psychobabble about not referring to me by my made-up name, so as to not reinforce my delusions of this false identity?"

Dr. Arkham sighed, finally looking up at the grinning maniac across from him. "You have to want to get better to actually get better. If you're not going to try, why should I?"

"Now doc, that's more like it!" His thin frame literally convulsed with his wild laughter, much to the doctor's obvious discomfort. "So am I free to go now?"

"However, according to the state as required by the Board of Mental Health Institutions, I am obligated to continually offer you the opportunity for as long as you are judged to be insane."

"Party pooper." Sulking as best he could while strapped in a straightjacket, Joker frowned dramatically. Dr. Arkham continued to drone on and on as if he'd never interrupted, ignoring Joker's antics as he shuffled the papers once more.

"Therefore I'm assigning you a new doctor, unless of course you're going to be a threat to their safety, in which case it is also my obligation to protect them from you."

"Spoil sport."

Finally looking back up at Joker, Dr. Arkham's mouth curled into a sardonic smirk as he concluded. "So do you, Joker, have any plans or intentions to harm, harass, intimidate, blackmail or otherwise threaten any of the guards, staff, visitors, inmates or any other person or persons upon these premises in anyway?"

Joker's smile darkened, the shadows over his face lengthening and distorting until he appeared almost demonic. The doctor drew back, his eyes widening as the clown slowly leaned forward like a predator closing in on his prey.

"Geeeeeeez Doc, how long did it take to memorize all that?"

* * *

"And three, two, one..."

The expected flash still made her eyes water as she struggled to keep them open. She'd never been a fan of her own pictures anyway, having this one pinned to her chest for the world to see was bad enough, looking half asleep or drugged wasn't an option. Praying her red and black outfit didn't make her look too pale; she blinked away the lingering spots in her eyes. With her blonde hair, blue eyes and athletic frame she recognized her own physical beauty but hopefully her elegant bun, thick-framed glasses and practical suits would hint at her mental ability as well. _One can hope_.

"Alright Doctor Quinzel, your card should be ready when you leave this afternoon. Here's a Visitor sticker for today."

Nodding her thanks to the bored-looking camera operator, she returned her attention to the other doctor who had escorted her here. Dr. Leland or Joan, as she preferred to be called, was everything Harley hoped to become as well. Intelligent, assertive and respected, yet courteous and friendly to everyone around her, Joan would be a perfect role model and mentor. _It would be nice to have a friend here_, she thought wistfully.

"Now that you're finished, I'll show you around. I remember how confusing this place can be when you're new." Pulling a glossy map out of her folder she passed it to Harley, pointing to the different locations as she continued walking, twisting and turning down the endless corridors. "Your office is located here, in the Medical Facility. We provide all the basics, office supplies, a lab coat and such but if you need anything else just let me know. As you can see it's across from the Penitentiary and the Visitor's Center though I doubt you'll need to visit them." Her finger rapidly danced across the map. "Over here is the Mansion where all of the records are kept and various other offices are located. Next to it is the Botanical Gardens, a very popular place to take a lunch break, especially in winter. Right now we're in the Intensive Treatment Facility where..."

Looking up from the map, Harley froze as a thunderous roar rumbled through the long hallway ahead of them, closely followed by the tortured screams of at least two men. A rapid burst of gunfire, too close for comfort, and a fleeting glimpse of a gigantic and very angry creature were all she could register before Joan pulled her back into a different hallway.

"Get Dr. Arkham!" Pointing much further down the hall at a door guarded by two of the biggest men Harley had ever seen, Joan quickly tugged her access card from her blouse, pressing it into Harley's trembling fingers before rushing off towards the destructive sounds.

"Killer Croc is loose!"

_Coming soon: Chapter 3 – Their first meeting!_


	3. Chapter 3

_A huge, huge, HUGE, thank you to evanessascence for being my very first ever reviewer! It really made my day! And a heartfelt thank you to everybody out there who is reading this, its kind of intimidating just how many of you that is…  
As promised the first meeting is delivered, along with my first MAJOR plot deviation, hope you enjoy!_

The imposing guards remained eerily motionless as she ran up between them, swiped Joan's card and tugged the heavy door open. Inside at a small table sat a man in a suit and another in a straightjacket. _Sounds like the beginning of a joke_ she thought randomly as she approached the man in the suit who's back was toward her. "Excuse me Dr. Arkham, there's an emergency!"

The man, hopefully Dr. Arkham, turned and looked her up and down appreciatively. "Now look here young lady, as you can clearly see I'm with a patient at the moment."

She clenched her teeth to control her anger. Of course guys had checked her out before but to have her new boss do it and then dismiss her as some bimbo was something she'd hoped to avoid, especially in front of a patient. "Killer Croc is loose."

"No!" Jumping out of his chair, several piles of papers scattered wildly across the floor though he ignored them as he roughly brushed passed her. "Stay with him but don't say anything."

He hurriedly, almost violently, yanked open the door before yelling at the men standing just outside. "Marcus you stay, keep them in here. Bobby, come with me." One of the guards stepped inside, immediately drawing his weapon on the seated man behind her as Dr. Arkham stormed out.

She blinked in stunned shock as he disappeared, her own papers crinkling noisily as she clenched her fists. Keep them _in here_? Not keep them _safe_? And who was he to tell her not to talk to somebody, anybody, even if it was a patient? _It wasn't as if he was some dangerous…_

Her thoughts trailed off as she turned and saw exactly who the man in the room was.

* * *

"Hi!"

Putting on his best smile he watched the realization sink in her pretty blue eyes. He'd thought at first she hadn't recognized him but no, she'd just been distracted. _Nice to know I'm not forgotten_.

She smiled at him in a somewhat dazed manner, nodding her dainty blonde head in response like a trained doll. "Oh right, no talking." He shrugged gracefully, his eyes scanning the room slowly, the very picture of harmless boredom. "Marcie-boy, you'll talk to me, right?"

"Shut up." The guard was clearly on edge, his glare and gun both locked onto Joker. The radio on his hip squawked and hissed as the guards outside coordinated their attack.

Such unwavering focus was a balm to Joker's ego even if he did have yet another gun pointed at him, he'd gotten used to that long ago. "Now don't get jealous, I only talked to her first to be polite. You know you're still my favorite." Marcus' scowl grew more pronounced while the girl seemed to smirk a little. _Interesting…_

"You might as well sit, this could take a while." Nodding towards Arkham's seat he watched her closely as she gracefully sat, his eyes lighting up as he spotted a wonderful opportunity to cause mischief. "I like your sticker. Didn't think they let Visitor's in this area though. Is it school day at AA?"

Marcus immediately turned his intense glare on the girl, suspicion in his eyes, causing her to pale considerably. He just giggled.

"Oh calm down Marcus-tard its not like _she_ let Croc out," Joker rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck loudly, before perking back up. "Did you?"

She shook her head side to side quickly, some of her fine hair escaping its painfully severe bun. Marcus however was clearly unconvinced. "Let me see some I.D!" he demanded holding his left hand out. "I.D.! Now!"

"Please" She whispered, the bright tears hovering in her eyes threatening to slip down her cheeks at any moment. "I don't have any, it's my first day…"

"Good cover, the tears are a nice touch too." Joker encouraged, delighted at the trouble he was causing. "Try sniffling a bit, it always helps."

"Can it clown!" Marcus hissed as gunshots echoed outside their hallway.

"Hey! What did I do?" Joker pouted, nodding towards the table in front of the girl where she'd set down her papers. "She's the one with the map and Dr. Leland's access card!"

He fought incredibly hard to choke back his laughter as Marcus blinked in shock and the girl looked about to faint. _He hadn't had such fun in ages!  
_  
Turning his gun onto her, Marcus slowly moved towards the now shaking girl. "You move and I'm going shoot you, got it?" Joker opened his mouth to taunt him further when the strangest thing happened.

She _laughed_.

It was a wild sort of laughter, innocently childlike yet laced with a delicious drop of familiar insanity. It slashed into him, piercing deep into his gut, a siren's call of pure sweetness leaving him ravenous for more. With an almost audible crack he felt something very dark within him shift and wake.

Stunned, his eyes shot to her face. Her brilliantly skewed smile and dazzling blue eyes sparkled crazily back at him, as mesmerizing as a fiery blaze, a shimmering diamond, a pool of fresh blood… _Such beautiful blood…  
_  
The new darkness within him surged to full awareness, its concentrated focus unerringly locked onto her like a cobra poised to strike. It recognized the madness within her, a starving twin to his own. He felt his grin crawl ever wider across his face as she unknowingly sealed her fate with laughter.

Whoever she was, she was HIS now.

Hope it wasn't too radical a change for everybody.  
Next Chapter: A Killer Croc cameo!


	4. Chapter 4

_Thank you to_ ___Amy32687 for being my second ever reviewer, I really appreciate it! Don't worry, I promise I'm not giving up on this story! Of course thanks as well to everybody else lurking out there, hope you're enjoying!_

_The Joker_.

She was sitting in a room with _The Joker._

And a _guard_ was going to kill her.

_This had to be the worst first day ever!_

The room seemed to almost float around her as her laughter erupted from within, the high pitch sounding crazed even to her ears. People had always said she had a strange sense of humor but the little voice of her inner doctor murmured this was all just stress. _Pull it together girl!_

He really did look as she'd heard him described, chalk-white skin, wild green hair and a frighteningly large smile. The traditional purple suit was missing but it was unmistakably him. Forcibly slowing her insane laughter to mere giggles, she closed her eyes, focusing on deep breathing and counting to ten, the classic calming techniques that still always helped. A strange prickling feeling crawled up her spine and she snapped open her eyes.

The Joker stared back.

Her breath caught in her throat. His face seemed darker somehow, more menacing, his eyes almost glowing with their intense focus. His smile was darker too; his long teeth gleaming like knives against the ruby red of his lips. She trembled, feeling truly afraid of him for the first time. He seemed to notice for his impossibly wide smile stretched even further.

"Well now," Propping his feet up on the table, Joker stretched out his long frame, his chains clinking loudly as they hit the cement. Roughly shoving his straightjacket over his head to the floor he leaned back, grinning like the Cheshire cat. "That was unexpected."

"How the fuck did you get loose!?" Marcus shouted, swinging his gun back around as he slowly backed towards the emergency alarm button near the door. "Don't move Joker or I swear I'll…"

Everything exploded.

A horrific bang rocked the room as a large mass crashed inside with amazing force, debris flying everywhere. The heavy metal door, blown clean off its hinges, slammed violently into the guard, sending him flying into the wall where he landed with a sickening crunch. An overpowering stench of bodily waste, decaying flesh _and was that fish?_ filled the room.

Gasping in shock and disgust, she fought against the intense need to vomit. Slamming her eyelids shut, she again concentrated on calming breaths, this time through her mouth, vaguely aware of two voices talking somewhere near her. A strange fuzziness seemed to blanket her, an overwhelming combination of hot and cold as everything slowly went white…

* * *

"Nice timing Croc!"

Joker beamed up at the hulking man before him. Picking up the substantial door with ease, Croc just grunted, casually brushing off some bloody chunks before returning it to its frame, propping it up as best he could. Never one to let Croc's poor conversational skills hold him back, Joker happily babbled on.

"You get a dramatic entrance, he gets a dramatic exit and she, aw shit." The crazy girl lay slumped over in her chair, dead white and clearly losing consciousness.

"She's bleeding" Croc rasped, his deep voice rumbling out of his barrel chest as he stalked back and forth across the room. "I smell it."

"What?" Jumping up from his seat Joker hurried around to examine her just in time to catch her as she slid out of the chair. "Falling for me already babe?" He chuckled until he noticed the blood steadily dripping onto the floor.  
_She was his now and she wasn't allowed to die before he got to play with her damn it!_ Blackness filled his vision at the thought.

Lifting her onto the table, he angrily shoved aside various papers before searching for her wound. He couldn't help but laugh at the irony, if she'd been shot tomorrow instead of on her first day, she'd of had on the standard white or blue scrubs the nurses wore instead of this frilly red and black number that hid the blood so well.

Finally he found it. High up her arm near the shoulder a small hole oozed steadily, pulsing in time with her heart. He laughed again; the stupid guards could never hit escapees but one had managed to shoot an employee. _Only at Arkham._

The steady beat of the dripping blood hypnotically called out to the darkness she'd inadvertently awoken. Ever so slowly, as though mesmerized he leaned down towards her, his pink tongue slipping out to lick gently at the wound. The regular coppery tang of blood filled his mouth but underneath he could taste her, warm and sweet like sugar and strawberries. _So perfect, like cotton candy_.

A strange, alien feeling swept through him and he fell upon her, lapping at the bright blood with vigor. His tongue dipped deeper into the wound, probing at the torn flesh, encouraging the flow and she moaned softly. He groaned back in pleasure at the sound, her tiny cry sending tingles down his spine.

Nearing the end of his control he roughly jerked back, forcing himself to stop sucking her like a fucking vampire. A warm stickiness coated his lips, the tasty residue of a juicy treat. The girl stared blankly up at him, clearly not fully awake and aware of her situation. He winked down at her as he ripped off a strip of her blouse, trying to ignore the smooth pale skin it revealed.

"You're lucky you're dead Marco-polo," he cooed in a singsong voice as he bandaged the girl's arm, brusquely pulling it tight. She whimpered pitifully at the pain before losing consciousness once more. He licked at his bloody mouth, shuddering in delight. "Very, very lucky."

Croc stood by awkwardly, knowing better than to comment on Joker's strange behavior. "So she gonna be our hostage?"

"Sorry Croc, change in plans. You're on your own now." Looking very chipper, Joker plopped down into the girl's chair. Carefully sliding her off the table and into his lap, he arranged her just so, heedless of the blood smearing across his outfit. She lolled about weakly, limp as a rag doll in his arms. He softly hummed an unfamiliar tune, tucking her head under his chin before wrapping his own arms about her. Grinning contentedly he happily finished licking his lips clean. "Better get a move on if you want to avoid more shock treatment."

Croc sighed, shaking his head in confusion at the crazy clown before bolting out the door, not pausing to prop it up behind him. Joker calmly petted the girl's hair, calling out to the huge figure as he disappeared down the hallway.

"You stink by the way!"


	5. Chapter 5

_Thanks to_ _Amy32687 and __Neurotic-Isopod, your approval means a lot to me as I'm really trying to get these characters right!  
This chapter isn't as action-packed as the last one, but does get everyone where they need to be and clears up some questions floating around out there. Plus it features a bit from Dr. Arkham's POV. Yippee.  
_

Everything was still white.

_Well that wasn't quite true_, she thought blearily as she slowly scanned her surroundings. This was more…off-white. _Maybe almond?  
_  
"Dr. Quinzel?" A soft voice murmured gently beside her. "Can you hear me?"

"Yes?" Turning her head she saw the fuzzy shape of Joan hovering over her, concern filling her eyes. A number of strangers seemed to linger in the doorway behind her, their silent focus somewhat eerie.

"How do you feel? Are you in any pain?"

The questions tumbled over themselves as she struggled to fully wake. She was clearly lying down, in what looked like a hospital bed, in a hospital type room. An I.V. drip flowed steadily into one arm and she felt the cold plastic of an oxygen tube across her face.

"I'm fine." Pushing herself awkwardly to a sitting position, she winced at a small sting in her arm. She felt drugged and dizzy and very confused. "Where am I?"

Joan laughed nervously, clearly still stressed. "Welcome to the Medical Facility. I'm sorry you had to enter as a patient before as a doctor."

"What?" She jerked back in alarm, though in her weakened state it was hardly a movement at all. "What happened?"

"Gunshot wound," Joan began, pointing at her upper arm. Seeing the growing alarm Harley felt filling her face, she quickly rushed forward. "But don't worry we've fixed you up and you'll be good as new soon."

"How?"

"We were hoping you could tell us." A man stepped forward from the doorway. His suit was now terribly rumpled and he looked utterly exhausted but she still recognized him as Dr. Arkham. "When we found you with The Joker we all assumed the worst, especially since...well…" he cleared his throat awkwardly, glancing away from her. "Joker insists that it was the guard who shot you. He was really quite upset about it and it's not like him to lie about…uh…hurting people."

_The Joker? What…?_ A vague memory of someone gently stroking her hair, a soft voice humming in her ear, of feeling so perfectly _safe_, slowly washed over her, leaving her feeling somehow detached from the rest of the world. Dr. Arkham cleared his throat again noisily, snapping her back to reality. The many faces behind him blinked expressionlessly back at her, obviously waiting for her side of the story.

"He didn't hurt me." She whispered in the heavy stillness. "I don't remember much but Joker didn't hurt me."  
Dr. Arkham nodded once before pushing his way out of the room.

"It was probably just an accident then." Joan comforted, casting a glare at the assembled crowd who shuffled off quickly enough. "You just rest here for a while and when you're ready I'll drive you home. Dr. Arkham will cover any medications you might need." She smiled sympathetically. "I didn't formally introduce you but he's in charge of the asylum you know."

"He didn't hurt me…" Harley repeated, suddenly realizing just how bizarre that sounded. According to all the media reports she'd heard The Joker was a complete psychopath, incapable of feeling compassion or empathy. _And yet he'd helped her?  
_  
Without thinking she blurted out, "I need to thank him."

Joan looked down at her oddly, moving to the doorway and flicking off the lights. "There will be time for that tomorrow, just rest now."

* * *

"Its about time!"

Dr. Arkham sighed; today had been a terrible day. He should have been at home hours ago but the massive amounts of paperwork resulting from this disastrous day had kept him late. A quick glance at his watch confirmed it was nearing midnight. Joker's snarling voice was the last thing he wanted to hear right now but a nagging feeling of duty pushed him forwards as he trudged towards the brightly lit cell.

"Well?" Inside Joker paced back and forth angrily. An amazing feat considering how he'd reportedly been restrained to his bed not five minutes ago for disturbing the others. He'd also discarded his straightjacket, though it seemed even the dullest inmates could figure that one out after a while.

And The Joker was most assuredly not dull.

"Dr. Quinzel is fine. She's lost a lot of blood but…"

"Doctor?" A look of surprised delight seemed to light up Joker's face. He watched, fascinated, as Joker's tongue repeatedly flicked out across his lips, like a nervous tick. He didn't remember anything about that in Joker's file but perhaps it was just a stress reaction. _He'd_ certainly had enough stress for one day.

"Yes she just started this morning." Pulling off his glasses he squinted at them sadly before rubbing off the grime with a cloth from his pocket. Croc had smashed through much of the building, not to mention several of the guards, leaving dusty piles of antique stonework in his wake. It was going to take weeks to clean up that mess. The mayor had been furious to learn of Croc's escape, it hadn't seemed like the best time to ask for funding to help with the repairs. _Maybe Wayne would help them out again…_

Putting the now polished lenses back on, he sighed at the bleariness that hadn't disappeared and likely wouldn't until he got some sleep. "She doesn't remember exactly what happened but agrees that you did not harm her, so we're listing it in the official report as an accident."

Joker snorted, "You've always had a way with words, Arky." A wicked gleam entered his eyes as he turned to face the doctor. "So does this mean I get a prize for my good behavior? I just can't wait to try yoga you know, seeing as I'm so good at it."

"You'll be resuming your counseling sessions tomorrow morning. I expect you to continue this 'good behavior' or you'll end up a yoga master before you are let out again." Glancing at the Joker's grimy and blood-smeared clothing, he felt his lips curl in disgust. "I'll make sure you get some new clothes as well."

"Aww," Joker cooed, dramatically striking a love-struck pose, lashes fluttering. "I always knew you cared!"

He rolled his eyes, feeling the exhaustion from the day catching up to him as the last of his energy drained away. "Goodnight Joker."

"Hey doc!" Joker called out to him as he slowly headed back towards the exit. "Any idea where Markie's services are being held? I'd like to send some flowers you know."

Cringing, he hurried out, anywhere away from that hellish laughter.

_Next Chapter: Less is Moore ;)_


	6. Chapter 6

_Thanks again to_ _reviewers_ _Amy32687 and __Neurotic-Isopod, two of the nicest people I've never met! I've made note of your suggestions and will definitely try to avoid Joker mushiness in future chapters. Although he's going to be rather charming for a while to win over Harley, be assured it's not going to be sunshine and snuggles all the way.  
This chapter moves back towards the original Mad Love plot with some slight modifications…_

"Good morning!"

A squat middle-aged man with an appallingly obvious comb-over, hopelessly geeky glasses and a stained and faded lab coat chirpped as he scurried into the tiny room. His practiced professional smile looked decidedly washed out against his clammy skin, adding to the overall impression of a bloated mole. With a loud thump, he set down a thick pile of folders and binders; newsprint clippings and sticky notes spilling out over the edges, and quickly began sort them to his liking.

"And who might you be?" Joker drawled, bored already. Y_et another idiot, where did they find these people?_ _Wonder if they hold auditions?  
_  
Puffing himself up the man beamed beneficently down upon his rather captive audience. "Ah yes, I'm Dr. Moore and I'll be…"

"Leaving now please." Slipping out of his straightjacket with practiced ease, Joker causally threw the thing into the corner; his spine and shoulders popping noisily back into place at the movement.

"I beg your pardon?" Like a useless lump the doctor simply sat down, a frown wrinkling his face.

Still firmly attached to the metal chair across from him, Joker merely rolled his eyes at the utter stupidity he was being so unfairly forced to endure. "Go and tell Arkpork I want Quinzel."

"I'm sorry but Miss Quinzel isn't qualified to..."

"Miss? Isn't she a doctor?" He'd interrupted twice now and judging by the rising color in the good doctor, it was a good bet the old boy was getting rather annoyed. _This might be fun after all._"Yes, yes I misspoke. _Doctor_ Quinzel is..."

"Got a thing against women doc?" He grinned, listening as the pompous doctor spluttered indignantly. Tilting his head to the side he adopted an inquisitive look, "Tell me about your mother." He giggled happily as the doctor struggled to return to his profession demeanor.

"This time is supposed to be about you." Noisily sucking in air through his pockmarked nose, he gravely folded his hands together on the table. Leaning forward slowly, he continued, "Now, is there anything that you would like to share?"

"To share? Like in kindergarten?" He chuckled darkly, amusement animating his face. "Oh goody! Do I get a gold star?"*

The doctor began eagerly scribbling away at his folders, resuming his questioning without looking up. "I can see that you are feeling very hostile right now. Does this aggression stem from an unpleasant childhood experience then?"

Joker laughed, _this was worse than those quacks on daytime TV! _Taken aback by the abrupt laugher, the doctor paused, clearly unsure, before trying a different tack. "What are you thinking about right now?"

"_You_."

"Me?" Moore looked torn between horror and delight. Joker could practically read his mind, _yes he'd gotten The Joker's attention but having that attention had often proved fatal_. "Could you please elaborate on that thought?"

"I'm trying to decide whether or not to kill you." Joker announced solemnly. The good doc was definitely looking a little green around the gills now. Imitating the earlier paternal tone of the man he added, "It's a big decision you know, and decisions have consequences!"

Instead of cowering in fear as a normal man might, the doctor smiled brightly, as if he'd unexpectedly found the Holy Grail of Psychology. "If you understand that there are consequences then you understand the concept of right and wrong and you know that killing me would be wrong."

Joker blinked blankly, tilting his head like a confused dog. "And if I know its wrong then I'm not insane huh?" The doctor blanched, inspiring his giggles once again. "Nice try doc, though its not very professional of you to try and get me the death penalty on our first date," he chastized.

Leaning forward he whispered conspiratorially across the table, one eyebrow raised in a dramatic mockery of secrecy. "You went to school right? Maybe took physics? For every action there is an equal and opposing reaction and all that crap right?"

"Yes…"

Dropping all traces of jovial mirth he glared maliciously across to the doctor. "So if I bash your brains out with this chair, is it right or wrong that your blood gets my nice new clothes all messy?" He stretched his evil grin out as wide as it would go, feeling the cool air caress his molars.

The doctor glared back at him, not at all intimidated. "You're not going to frighten me away, I know that that chair is securely bolted to the floor."

"Checked it yourself before I came in right? Wouldn't want to go around making rookie mistakes like that or like say, misplacing a paperclip." The doctor's eyes widened slightly as he nervously glanced down at the folders before him, dozens of paperclips holding in the various multicolored additions to his files. Joker's frown deepened as he leaned back in his amazingly uncomfortable chair, annoyance creeping into his voice. "I already said please, now get me Quinzel."

Silence filled the room for several moments as the doctor simply frowned back. "Perhaps you'd like to share why you're so interested in Dr. Quinzel?"

"Because unlike you Dr. Moron," The soft jingling of chains hitting the floor underscored the punch line.

"She's going to be alive five minutes from now."

* * *

So far her second day had almost been as bad as the first.

Drugged up on the painkillers she'd slept through her alarm and been hopelessly late for the bus, seeing as her car had been left overnight at the asylum. Two weeks till payday and her first paycheck was already spent with nothing left for the luxury of a carbide. Her empty stomach rumbled unhappily about missing breakfast during the long hike to work and her hair was now a total mess. Finally arriving nearly two hours late, she'd found the place in chaos once again.

The guards hadn't shared many details as she'd signed in and collected her new employee badge, but it seemed some of the patients were causing trouble again. Half asleep and almost bored, they'd mostly stared at her chest as they gave vague directions to her office. She couldn't help but wonder as she hesitantly made her way across the paths if this was a common occurrence for them. Maybe that was why the more criminal inmates successfully escaped with such regularity.

Her office was smaller than she'd expected, especially considering the compound's huge size, but figured as the newest member she'd undoubtedly gotten the crummiest office. Setting down her shiny new briefcase, she looked around, quickly noting her new lab coat with a smile. She slipped it on with pride, its crisp whiteness doing wonders for her lingering grumpy mood as she twirled around like a little girl. A flash of red on her desk caught her eye and she paused to get a better look.

It was a rose.

She brightened in shocked delight. _No one had ever given her flowers before_! Stepping over towards it she picked it up to admire its smell, noting with a shock it wasn't an ordinary flower at all. In her hand was a gorgeous paper rose.

Intricately folded, it was nearly impossible to distinguish from a real flower other than its delicate weight. She couldn't begin to imagine how many hours its creation must have taken. Every detail was perfect, the dozens of tiny petals tightly wrapped into a graceful bud shape, two finely serrated leaves daintily clinging to the lightly thorned stem. Even the paper was strangely beautiful; a nearly black shade of red, lightening at the tips to a cherry hue, the fine linen threads flecked across it like veins on every petal.

_A masterpiece_.

She felt tears prick her eyes, suddenly almost desperate to know who had made this for her. She scanned the desk frantically, looking for a clue. A small slip of cream-colored paper was carefully paper-clipped to the elegant paper vase. Squinting down at the miniature script she felt the room begin to spin.

**_  
COME DOWN AND SEE ME SOMETIME_ – **_**J**_

_Dedicated to Dr Moore, my General Psychology professor who didn't retire soon enough! But don't worry kiddies; the real one's not dead, yet.  
* from Patient J - one of the best fanfilms ever!_


	7. Chapter 7

_Thanks to __Neurotic-Isopod__ and Amy32687_/_AmeliaJade326 (or whoever you are today lol) __you guys keep me going!  
Another slower chapter (which will be important later) but I promise some lovely Joker/Harley interaction in the next chapter!  
_

"Please Dr. Quinzel, I really must insist."

Dr. Arkham frowned up at her from behind the honestly alarming stacks of papers burying his desk. He looked worse than yesterday, in addition to the general haggard look of the overworked, his bloodshot eyes and fidgety manner hinted strongly of a few too many cups of coffee. "I understand your desire to see him but your safety is my top concern."

Harley sighed; they'd been going over this for nearly a quarter hour already and were getting nowhere. "Dr. Arkham, if The Joker was going to harm me he had ample opportunity to do so yesterday."

"He is completely unpredictable Harley." Behind her, Joan's calm voice did nothing to soothe the annoyance Harley felt bubbling under her skin. _Why was Joan even in here anyway? _Oblivious to her rising anger, Joan continued placidly on, "Yesterday might as well have been ten years ago to him; he might not even remember you."

Biting her tongue she choked back the quick reply that sprang to mind. When she'd marched in she'd had every intention of reporting Joker's rose like any good doctor would have done, but suddenly it just felt too…personal.

"I'm not going to go inside with him! What do you think he's going to do to me through safety glass?" _This was getting ridiculous! Did they think she had no sense at all? _

Dr. Arkham rose suddenly, shouting. "We _still_ don't know what he did to Dr. Moore this morning!" She blinked, confused. _Who was Dr. Moore? _"You explain to me how he slashed a man's throat, covered the walls with bloody paintings and then refastened himself into his restraints in under thirty minutes!" She felt queasy yet strangely inspired, _so that's what happened this morning!_

"Doctor, please." Looking upset and concerned, Joan somehow still managed to calmly chastise her superior.

Not at all abashed, he snarled some more. "Besides he isn't even your patient!"

She vaguely wondered what exactly that had to do with anything. _I wasn't going to analyze him, just to say thank you_. They were both being completely unreasonable, and frankly rather offensive about this whole thing. She felt her own spark of anger glow ever brighter within. Glaring back at her fuming boss she jabbed her finger at him to punctuate her words. "I'm going and if you want to stop me you're going to have to fire me."

Rolling his eyes skyward, he let out an exasperated snort before falling back into his chair and dismissing her with a wave of his hand. Joan watched, her eyes full of worry as Harley triumphantly turned to go.

"Be careful Harley."

* * *

_  
_He twitched.

Whatever drug he'd been forcibly injected with was making his muscles spasm sporadically, an internal buzzing just annoying enough to counter the sedative they'd also felt compelled to share with him. If that idiot health inspector came today she'd see him awake and alert but calm, while inside he felt higher than a kite in quicksand. _Bastards_.

Moore had been worth it though. Certainly not the man himself, the brainless twit, but he'd had his uses. Not to mention it felt simply wonderful to get out and enjoy himself a bit. _Maybe Bat-breath would find out and drop by for a visit!_ His excited laughter inspired groans from several of his long-suffering neighbors, groans he blithely ignored.

It was too bad they were just going to wash away all his art, that one with the school exploding was a stunning success, the detailed shading just right. It hadn't been easy to capture the true intensity of the all the bodies and brickworks being blown to bits with only the one color to work with but he'd managed. Besides, he'd never have gotten the right shade for her rose without Moore. _Well part of him anyway!  
_  
Inevitably his drugged thoughts returned to the new doctor. He really wanted the crazy doll inside the doc to come out and play with him! Think of all the fun they could have! Not that he needed or even wanted a sidekick - _that was the Dork Knight's shtick_ - but the more mayhem the merrier! Plus the damn henchmen were starting to figure out they were expendable which in turn made them totally unreasonable. During the last job, they'd actually demanded payment in advance! Afterwards he'd dumped their bodies in the river, funeral costs were simply outrageous these days.

He thought about simply escaping and dragging her along to toy with at his leisure. No, she'd been out there among the "sane" people for too long, undoubtedly most of their illogical ideas had already rooted deep into her delicate little skull. It would take some serious pounding to knock them out again. Not that he was against that by any means, it would just add to the fun but she'd probably be to broken to play with afterwards. _Red and black,_ _blood and bruises…_Well, he'd just have to think of something else.

_She was worth it_.

* * *

_No I'm not going to tell you which part was important, you'll see soon enough!_


	8. Chapter 8

_As promised, it's Joker/Harley interaction followed by a nice little drug trip for Joker! It's a bit longer (and hopefully not too mushy). Joker's numerous nicknames for Harley come directly from Batman: The Animated Series, I just included them because I think its kind of cute/funny.  
Another shout out to __Neurotic-Isopod_ _for being an awesome reviewer! And you're absolutely right about her temper. ;)_

His room was pretty much as she'd imagined it to be.

Large panes of shatterproof safety glass provided clear views into the rooms of the high-risk ward so she'd had no trouble finding him. In one corner rested a single white-sheeted cot, in another was the screened-off toilet. It was the same as any of the numerous other patient rooms she'd passed but for one important detail, the inmate himself.

The Joker lounged casually atop his bed, eyes closed, arms folded behind his head, his slipper-covered feet closest to her. His discarded straightjacket lay pathetically piled on the floor. She took a moment to look at him; it was hard to see a vicious killer in this calmly resting man, however odd his coloration.

"Hello sweet stuff, miss me already?" He grinned widely up at her, winking charmingly. She glanced away quickly, knowing she'd been caught staring.

"Hello." Her voice betrayed her, a childish squeak escaping instead of her practice professional tone. Clearing her throat discreetly, she frowned, silently praying it wouldn't happen again. "I, er, I wanted to thank you for helping me yesterday. I truly appreciate it." _There now, that was easy. And they were so worried!_

As she was about to turn to go, he suddenly jumped up, perching atop the edge of his bed, smiling as usual. Instinctively she took a step back, alarmed at the abrupt movement. She hadn't noticed his height before, even crouched as he was they were nearly eye-to-eye. He looked utterly thrilled at her reaction.

"You're just too cute, cupcake!" He paused, tilting his head as if considering her. "So you gonna be my new doc?"

She almost laughed. _Day two and put in charge of The Joker? Not in this world! _"No, your sessions have been suspended following today's…events."

"Today's events," He snorted, mocking her. "Got you trained pretty quickly didn't they?" He sighed dramatically as his smile drooped, clearly a thespian at heart. "Oh well, what's another disappointment in life?" He roughly ran his fingers through his emerald hair; bits of it stayed sticking up here and there.

"You're disappointed?" her mouth blurted out before her mind could stop it. "In what?"

"Why you pumpkin!" The perky grin was momentarily back before it morphed into a look of sad confusion as he pressed his palms against the glass. "What happened to the girl who laughed like a lunatic in the face of danger?"

_No wonder he was crazy_, she thought, struggling to keep up with his mood swings. "I was just stressed, it's a natural reaction to…"

"Mmhmm," He nodded mischievously at her, his dark eyes sparkling. "And snuggling with a psychopath is a survival instinct."

She froze.

"I didn't…" That fuzzy memory of being coddled and comforted floated to the surface of her awareness once more. She blushed softly, looking anywhere but at him.

"Coming back to you?" he caroled happily. "I certainly wasn't complaining about it either." She glanced up swiftly, angrily thinking he was mocking her again. His sincere grin slowly inched across his face to painful looking proportions, as if he were displaying every one of his gleaming teeth just for her. "Oh you should have seen their faces when they saw us, especially when you sighed so blissfully." He mimicked her dreamy sigh before dissolving into riotous giggles. "Arky nearly dropped dead thinking that was your last gasp!"

"I didn't, I wasn't…"

He shrugged, climbing off the cot to stand in front of her. Once again she was aware of just how tall he was, involuntarily noting his broad shoulders and trim frame evident even under the shapeless outfits the inmates wore. She felt a sudden irrational urge to see him just once in his tailored purple suit. _It must have looked very dashing on him_…

"Live in denial if you want to toots, I'm certainly not going to stop you." He twisted his head, the loud cracking sound echoing slightly in the stone hallway. "You'll see soon enough."

"What does that mean?" She asked, suspicion in her tone._ If he was planning something it was her duty to report it! There were no confidentiality agreements between, well, whatever they were. _

"And ruin the surprise? You must be joking!" He laughed wildly, the intense volume filling her ears with its joyous sound. Her mouth twitched slightly, temped to join in. _They always said laughter is contagious_.

He stopped almost as abruptly as he'd begun, his eyes lighting up as if he'd remembered something important. Once more he tilted his head, this time in an almost shy manner. "I hope you like the little gift I left for you."

"It _was_ from you!" Strangely delighted, she felt her whole body somehow lightening as she beamed up at him.

He chuckled at her exuberance. "Who else? No don't answer, I'm sure my poor heart couldn't take it!" Throwing his hand over his heart he mimed suffering, the exaggerated pouting of his lower lip making her giggle in spite of herself.

"But…

"But how did I get it into your office? A magician never reveals his secrets!" Theatrically swooshing an imaginary cape, he posed with his chin held high, a haughty look upon his brow. She laughed at his wonderful performance. "But he is always willing to _sell_ them." He wiggled his eyebrows down at her suggestively; with his lopsided smile and mussed up hair he looked surprisingly cute.

She felt her cheeks warming up as she blushed deeply. _A psychopath was flirting with her!_ Glancing away from him swiftly, she tried to think of something, anything, appropriate to say.

"Harley?" Joan peered at her from the end of the hallway, totally ruining the moment, undoubtedly under Arkham's orders to check on her. "Is everything alright?"

She grinned back through clenched teeth, trying hard not to stomp her foot in sheer frustration. "Yes I was just leaving." Turning back to The Joker she could see from his sympathetic smirk that her act hadn't fooled him at all. She felt her forced smile soften as she whispered up to him. "Thank you again for yesterday and umm, the other thing as well. Goodbye Joker."

Without waiting for a reply she purposefully strode down the long hallway, head held high.

* * *

Dr. _Harley_ Quinzel.

Harley Quinn!

What a perfect joke! Oh the fates were twisted bitches indeed, sending him this little treat. And practically gift-wrapping it too!

And what a beautiful package the good doctor was. Every feminine feature easily distinguishable under her too short, too tight and clearly second-hand suits. Even that blindingly bright lab coat only managed to highlight her sweet naïveté. Undoubtedly every male in the place was drooling over her long legs and perky chest. He smirked, knowing that no one else was going to examine her closer, to even try to see past that facade. _He'd make damn sure of that_.

It was her mind that was the true treasure. Old Arkvark had really outdone himself this time, finding a doctor who was as crazy as the patients wasn't that difficult if Crane and Strange were anything to go by, but one with a sense of humor was virtually unheard of, sane or no! Like the first whisper thin cracks in an icy glaze, he knew it wouldn't take much to break through to the swirling depths beneath. She was already perfect at playing make believe, she'd even fooled herself into thinking she was just another doctor like them. It couldn't be that hard to rewire her to fulfill her true potential. _And Batsy was sure to flip his lid when he found out! _He turned and plopped back onto his bed, the damn twitching roaring back with a vengeance after he'd fought to contain it for so long. She hadn't noticed anything unusual; it was too early in the game to try playing the sympathy card anyway. A psychedelic haze gently began to fill his mind, which meant the twitching was just a damn side effect. He idly wondered which mix they'd tried this time. _Down the rabbit hole again, eh Arky? _This whole confinement thing simply wouldn't do. He didn't want to get out if she wasn't going to follow, and he couldn't get her to want to follow if he was always stuck in here. _And rabbits look funny when they explode, little fluff balls of bloody poof_!

He shook his head roughly, trying to fight the drugs just a little longer. So how to get Harley to follow him out while still inside out and upside down? Why was he upside down anyway? They probably thought it'd be funny, the pathetic rabbits, to turn his room upside down. Smile, you're on candid camera! _That's it!  
_  
Plan established, he settled back to enjoy the ride.


	9. Chapter 9

_Sorry for the delay! I promised I wasn't going to abandon this story and I refuse to break that promise. Long story shortened, a friend broke his leg while on skiing on spring break and I spent Friday/Saturday driving about 12 hours each way to go get him and bring him home. But at least I got to see some pretty scenery and had plenty of time to think about future chapters. Plus he now owes me big time. :D  
Hello and thank you to ForbiddonTrance, and super huge thanks to Neurotic-Isopod for leaving the best review I've ever gotten!_

Three months.

Three long and hopelessly dull months of mind-numbing boredom.

Following her first couple of days, things seemed to quiet down immensely. Joker's rose remained on her desk, at first she'd been paranoid someone would see and had kept it hidden away, as the days inched past she'd decided if anyone asked she'd just lie about it, it was too beautiful, too wonderful to just be ignored. As for Joker himself, she hadn't heard anything about him since, not that she really expected to. Since then, the closest she'd gotten to the more glamorous "super criminals" had been seeing a bizarre third-rate rogue the guards called Polka Dot Man being transferred to a cell following his recapture by the Batman. Not much, but his outfit was good for a laugh and it had helped break up the monotony of her routine.

Now day after day it was the same thing, an endless line of patients who were too far gone to save. These people weren't criminals, they were just, well, _crazy_. Every hour the guards brought her another poor human reduced to incoherent babbling or mindless shrieking. Some incessantly rocked back and forth, trapped within their own minds, some fought blindly against their restraints like wild animals, while some just looked at her and drooled on themselves.

She'd drug herself into work as usual, stopping only to grab a cupful of the sludge that masqueraded as coffee from the employee lounge before trekking across the compound to her office. Checking her clipboard she noted the usual list of patients, the many names almost familiar by now as she entered the interview room where the first patient of the day waited. They were nothing more than hopeless cases of lost causes, a waste of time the whole lot of them. At best she could medicate them, keep them calm, but she knew she'd never be able to really help them. Not like she'd been trained to do. Like she'd dreamed of.

It stung more than she'd expected. Getting through med school had been hell on earth. As one of very few females in the department and an attractive one at that, she'd suffered through countless sexist jerks, both classmates and faculty treating her like a brainless Barbie doll. More than one professor had unfairly marked her papers down, a theory she'd proven by submitting a former student's A+ paper as her own and receiving a D for poor sentence structure. Their ideas of extra credit were unoriginal but not unexpected. Swallowing her pride she did whatever it took to get ahead, becoming more determined than ever to show those bastards what she was really made of. The idea of proving them all wrong, every last one of them, was what had kept her going, an idea that died a little more every day here at Arkham. _Fame and glory would have been wonderful but simple respect wasn't really that much to ask for was it?_It could have been the emotional inner turmoil or the apathetic boredom that seemed to define her job or maybe she was just too busy jotting down the all-important notes the asylum anally insisted on keeping but whatever it was she failed to notice when her patient slipped an arm out of his restraints.

A shadow of a movement caught her eye and she glanced up.

He loomed over her, his eyes rolling about wildly as his thick fingers nearly closed about her neck. Rapidly she jerked away from the grasping hands, though not quickly enough as she felt the stinging burn of his jagged nails drawing blood along her throat. With a panicked yelp she slammed down the help button and scrambled away from him, halfway across the room before the guards barreled through the door from down the hall. They'd subdued him easily enough and after repeatedly assuring them she was fine, had finally left.

Hot tears struggled to escape the moment she was alone. The absolute certainty that she'd screwed it all up, that everyone would now know what a completely disappointing failure she was, threatened to send her sobbing in utter despair. Compared to the stabbing pain of her shattered dreams, the wounds were just shallow scratches, barely noticeable.

_No! They weren't going to find out_! Escaping the tiny room she dashed down the corridor back into the quiet safety her office, wiping away the trickling blood with a tissue and sniffling quietly as she began to type frantically on her computer. The printer had just begun its ticking hum as it slowly spat out her hastily produced document when an absurdly happy chime announced an Instant Message had been delivered. Despondent, she clicked it, unable to summon any of her usual excitement over such a note. Her eyes narrowed in confusion as she read the brief text.

**Meeting in the main conference room in ten minutes. Attendance mandatory.**

The capital letter A in gold font showed it was from Dr. Arkham. She sighed sadly, wondering how he had heard about the incident so quickly. Knowing this place, he'd been watching on the security cameras just waiting for her to make a mistake, eager to get back at her for disobeying him over The Joker.

We'll she'd just beat him to it! _No one was going to put a black mark on her record and fire her!_ Gritting her teeth she stood, collected her resignation letter from the printer, slipped it into her case and marched out, the precise clicking of her heels ringing loudly in the still air.

* * *

The fluorescent lights hovering above his head flickered to life.

Out of habit, they flickered some more.

"Alright Joker, you know the drill." Peeking out from under the edge of his blanket he grinned groggily up from his cot, still floating in the drug-induced wonderland he'd been in for what felt like months. His new set of guards stood solemnly beside the door. "Stand up, face the wall."

"Five more minutes!" he giggled, pulling the sheet down tighter around his head.

"Come on, somebody up there wants to talk to you." The tall one, _Bob maybe, hmm wonder how Bobby is?_ pulled the sheet down gently, his partner hovering barely an inch behind him in case Joker acted up.

"Ooo!" He swung up into a sitting position, wobbling slightly. "Is it Batman? Tell me its Batman!" _BATMAN_! He eagerly jumped over to the glass window, peering at his translucent reflection as he spun this way and that. "How do I look? Is my hair okay?" Licking his hand, he ran it across his head, plastering down any unruly hairs before squinting intently at his teeth. _BATMAN!_

"Hey now hold still! It ain't the Bat." The talkative guard chided gently as he strapped him up. The not-Bob guard, _or maybe _he_ was Bob, what was with all these B people anyway?_ apparently not having anything worth sharing helped hold the room steady as they finished with the restraints. "I'd say it's some of the higher ups from the looks of the suits."

_No Batman?_ He pouted, his lower lip jutting out piteously. _Batman never came to visit him_! Finally though, the guard's last words seemed to sink into his fuzzy mind, slowly brushing away the mental cobwebs of the past months. _Higher ups had come and wanted to see him?_ His smile darkened, perhaps today was finally the day!

The guards reached out to lead him to his meeting, stepping back quickly at the new glint in his eyes. He mellowed his smile just a touch to get them moving along.

"All dressed up and ready go!"

_  
Ok so this chapter isn't my favorite at all (though I do like the cuteness of drugged Joker worried about his hair). Anyways next chapter is the turning point leading to lots of the J/H action we all love! Yay!_


	10. Chapter 10

_Huzzah! So apparently the website was much too busy to upload this chapter for the past two days but I've finally managed to fit into its crazy schedule. Or maybe it was the whole randomness of the universe acting up again, whatever. Anyway, here's the chapter that leads to all the J/H interaction you guys have been asking for! I'm not promising that every single chapter will feature them together but a dang good majority will. Also this chapter will be a solo piece since the next part just didn't flow correctly when stuck on afterwards.__  
Neurotic-Isopod, All Apologies, and Jokersaccomplice, you guys rock! I can't tell you how much your reviews mean to me since I practically live in paranoid fear that I'm destroying the characters that I really do care so much about. _

_Deep Breaths._

I can do this.

Squaring her shoulders she pushed open the heavy oak door, head held high as she stepped inside to face whatever awaited her.  
_  
_Compared to the ornate yet clearly dated extravagance of the asylum compound as a whole, the conference room was quite a bit more posh than she had imagined. A blindingly polished table filled the elongated room, numerous sleek and expensive leather chairs lining its length, while potted palms towered gracefully in the corners and high-quality prints hung in precisely measured spaces along the cream walls. Glossy wood floors and modern copper lighting discretely hanging from the ceiling completed the very proper and sadly very fake picture of a state-of-the-art well-funded hospital.

She looked around the room in vague confusion, a look mirrored on several of the faces surrounding her. Though she didn't know their names, it appeared that every doctor in the asylum was in attendance and from the look of things, not a one knew why.

At the head of the obscenely large table sat a grim-looking Dr. Arkham, while at the opposite end were three men in expensive-looking suits. She was rather certain she had never seen any of them before but couldn't help a small smile at the very familiar-looking Visitor stickers they were all wearing. Between them, in no apparent order, were her co-workers, a few muttering softly to one another as she calmly marched over and claimed an open seat. _This couldn't all be just to fire her, surely?_

The door swung open once more.

Escorted by two muscular guards The Joker strolled in, smiling pleasantly as though he hadn't a care in the world. His usual straightjacket had been upgraded to a very uncomfortable looking modern restraining harness, the black nylon dramatically contrasting with his wild coloring. The pair of guards silently directed him into a chair in the corner, where he sat without complaint, sending a wink towards the stunned assemblage who merely blinked over at him in silent shock.

Ignoring him completely, Dr. Arkham nodded to the visitors and the meeting began.

"Good morning everyone." The man in the center stood, obviously the leader of the trio and clearly used to addressing such groups. "I must apologize for interrupting your busy day but we are representatives from the State Board of Mental Health Institutions. We're here regarding some serious issues that directly effect you all as employees of this facility."

Unblinking silence filled the room, everyone clearly taken aback at the news. Glancing down at a sleek laptop on the desk in front of him he continued, "We show that it has been roughly three months since Dr. Moore's unfortunate passing. Is that correct Dr. Arkham?"

"Yes." Dr. Arkham calmly answered, remaining seated as the man peered down the table inquiringly. "But I don't see…"

"The State has very strict laws regarding doctor-patient ratios and by our calculations you must have at least eleven doctors on full-time staff to maintain your certification."

Numerous eyes surreptitiously scanned the room, quickly counting those present. Eleven doctors rapidly reached the same conclusion, sighing in relief.

"Now I can clearly see that you just meet this minimum requirement, a situation you might consider improving upon considering this facility's track record," one of the men seated beside him discretely coughed at this comment. "But the real problem here is that certain patients of Dr. Moore's have not been transferred to your remaining doctors following his death."

Dr. Arkham scowled, eyes narrowing. "You are referring to The Joker."

"Indeed, so you are aware of his situation." The man paused to scribble a note on his pad, ignoring Dr. Arkham's darkening glare. She furtively glanced over to see Joker's smile cranked up to its highest wattage, but he remained politely silent.

"We also have received video surveillance tapes from an anonymous source showing that this patient has not been allowed out of his cell since that incident three months ago, a flagrant violation of the laws regarding humane treatment of inmates."

Harley mentally gasped;_ He'd been stuck in one room for three months? _

Dr. Arkham indignantly recoiled, "You have to agree that my first concern must be for the safety and well-being of my staff, surely."

The younger man seated to the right of the main speaker rose to address the Doctor. "If you feel that the staff of this facility are not capable of competently assisting in the treatment of its current inmates a full review may be necessary in determining the soundness of this institution."

Eleven doctors turned and glared down the table at their boss, daring him to agree.

Arkham looked about to have a fit, his eyes nearly ready to pop out of his reddened face. "I assure you I have complete confidence in every member my staff!" She smirked, perversely enjoying this little show.

The second man sat as the main speaker once again resumed the conversation, "Excellent, now then as to the treatment of the patient in question." He nodded to The Joker, the first time anyone had directly acknowledged him since he'd arrived. The Joker simply nodded his head in response, maintaining his unusual silence even as his familiar fearsome smile stayed put. "We have reviewed the current schedules of your staff and feel that Dr. Quinzel would be the best option for taking on this case."

Her smirk vanished as she felt the stunned eyes of everyone on her, shocked into silence yet again.

_The Joker? She'd be treating The Joker?_ A bubble of joy filled her, the golden chance of a lifetime just casually passed along to her like an unwanted present? _This was it_, she suddenly realized, the thought hitting her like a bucket of ice water, _the true final test. _

Her boss cleared his throat, obviously a bad habit of his, dragging her back to the conversation at hand. "Dr. Quinzel is the newest member of our team and while I do not doubt her capabilities in any way, to give her a patient at this level of mental disturbance seems ill-advised."

On older gentleman across the table from her leaned forward with a bored shrug. "I'll take the case."

_How dare he_! _This was her moment_! She bit her lip to keep from verbally attacking him. The sour taste of blood swirled across her tongue as she bit a little too hard.

"No, Dr. Bishop. As you are already treating two of the more notoriously unbalanced inmates it would be illogical to add a third to your program when Dr. Quinzel is clearly available." She cheered inside, doggedly keeping a modest smile plastered on her face.

Of course the jerk tried to ruin it again.

"But Dr. Crane is showing remarkable progress. His response to the new medication gives me hope for a successful reintroduction into society."

The man shook his head negatively. "While the Board will certainly appreciate your efforts and make note of such achievements we simply cannot allow the patient to wait until such time as your schedule is open. No, Dr. Quinzel is the only acceptable solution."

"Dr. Quinzel?" Dr. Arkham stared stoically down the long table at her. "Do you agree to accept this case?"

She looked quickly at the faces around the table. Most wore a decided look of sympathy at her plight, a few of exhausted relief. Joan looked seriously concerned. Out of the corner of her eye she could see the Joker subtly wink at her.

_She could do this_.

"Yes."

_  
Wooo! Wasn't that fun! Next Chapter: Let the therapy begin!_


	11. Chapter 11

_Thanks to Jokersaccomplice, Neurotic-Isopod, and Squirrel for the lovely support!_ _Cookies for all of you!  
Well guys it's finally my turn for a spring break so don't look for another chapter till next weekend! (Someday I'll get a laptop and then I can post whenever wherever but till then I'm not lugging my clunky desktop anywhere I don't have to.)_

"Dr. Quinzel I'm sure I don't have to warn you about how dangerous that man is but I'm going to anyway."

Dr. Arkham's scowl looked as though it might become permanent if it stayed on any longer; clearly his attitude had not improved after the meeting. Following her acceptance of Joker as a patient she honestly hadn't heard anything else that was said, too busy alternating between euphoric shock and agonizing dread to pay any attention to the undoubtedly dull details and subtle barbs that continued for another half hour or so. Afterwards Arkham had sprung for lunch for everyone; an obvious attempt to pacify his still rather annoyed employees who were all now having to stay late to finish their work. The poor pizza delivery kid looked a bit pale after the intensive security screening the guards decided to put him through but perked back up as he left with a generous tip and an eyeful of the infamous asylum.

She'd been looking forward to chowing down and getting to know her colleagues a bit better, their hectic schedules rarely allowed for such intermingling and pizza was an unusual treat, when Dr. Arkham literally grabbed her arm and drug her off into his office, still determinedly clutching her untouched plate of pizza. She stole a couple quick bites while he dug around in the piles that covered his desk, cold pizza may be fine for college kids but the hot cheese oozing down the edges proved irresistible.

"This is his file," he announced, handing over a thick binder. Surprised by its unexpected weight, she wobbled a bit, desperately trying not to drop it and look like an idiot. "We've already laminated everything to avoid the use of paperclips."

"Paperclips? Is that how he gets out of his restraints?"

"No." Dr. Arkham clenched his jaw as he gazed blankly into space. Harley stood silent, awkwardly waiting for him to rejoin her in the real world. Or to at least give up his death grip on the stupid folder so she could get back to the lunchroom. Just as she was about to impatiently tap her foot he seemed to blink back into awareness. "Now then it's still a standard binder, metal clips and all, though we're purchasing one with rubber clips for future sessions so don't let him get a hold of this under any circumstances."

"I understand."

"Dr. Quinzel I'm well aware of your outstanding college record. I've reviewed your reports and you have done well with your initial patients but let me stress that this patient is unlike anything you have ever encountered or even been trained for. He is a master at misdirection, manipulation and murder. He will do anything to discover your weakness and use it against use you when you least expect it."

With a long sigh he flopped into his chair, looking utterly exhausted. Pulling a bottle out of his drawer, he carefully measured out a large spoonful of blindingly bright pink fluid, swallowing it with a grimace. Trying not to be too obvious she enjoyed a few more bites of pizza before he continued. "I'll be honest with you, I don't think you are ready to work with The Joker but since I clearly have no choice in the matter I'm asking you to be careful, for all our sakes."

Her mouth full of pizza, she merely nodded politely in response.

"I wish you had more time to prepare for this but I've spoken with the Board Representatives and they agreed this first meeting could be a short meet and greet type thing."

"I'm going now?" Suddenly the delicious pizza was like acid in her stomach as a wave of nervous nausea washed over her and she set the plate down quickly. Arkham frowned up at her from his seat; she was tempted to ask for some of the pink stuff herself.

"Yes, weren't you listening?" She watched in growing horror as he rose and walked to the door, motioning for her to follow. Reluctantly leaving the office, she felt her heartbeat accelerate in stressed anticipation. "Any further delays could be grounds for closure of the asylum, which Joker could potentially use as a defense strategy if his appeal goes through."

Crossing through several of the echoing hallways they stopped, all to soon in her opinion, at one of the interview rooms. Giving her a rather flat smile of reassurance, Arkham shook her hand before turning and walking away.

"Good luck Doctor Quinzel."

* * *

"Wasn't that fun!"

Following that unusually enjoyable meeting Joker'd gotten to take a shower, was given some new clothes, even enjoyed a light lunch with a noticeable lack of meds. It made him feel so refreshed, even if he did hate the way his damp hair constantly tried to curl about his head instead of the slicked back style he preferred. Not that he'd ever been given any pomade in here, he could only imagine what they thought he'd make out of it. _Actually now that he thought about it_…

Currently he was strapped down into their stupid chair again, awaiting his first session with his new favorite doctor, and knowing that Dr. Arkham was probably getting ulcers in his frustration at being outwitted again. _It all brought a smile to his face, hell most things did!_"It was like being in an episode of Law and Order or something! You were great!"

Stepping over to her own seat she lowered her eyes bashfully, a perfect little submissive gesture that warmed his blood nicely. "Yes, thank you. Now to begin your therapy…"

"Oh come on doc, I'm too excited to try to concentrate today!" He wiggled a bit, obviously too hyper to sit still. "What say we just chatter like a couple of monkeys? I'm just dying to hear some news!"

"News?" She repeated blankly as she opened her notebook in front of her. Clearly his doc was different. She seemed confused, upset or nervous, all of which was fine really, he just wished he'd been the one that caused it. _Maybe he'd been away too long…_ "About what?"

"Anything!" He caroled happily. Seeing her continued empty expression he decided to clarify a bit. "Well funny stuff is always better!"

"I think we should try and focus on you. That is why we're both here." The professional act was rather cute; she reminded him of a toddler playing at doctor, trying so hard but clearly not the real thing. He idly thought about giving her a lisp when he rewired her but decided it'd probably get too annoying.

"You mean we're not here to finally achieve world peace?" He asked, feigning extreme shock and disappointment. Finally she seemed to thaw a bit, a slight grin gracing her previously bland face. "Alright, alright, I'll settle down."

"Thank you." She glanced down at her notebook as if just remembering it was there, and hastened to scribble something down.

"You're so polite, it's adorable." He chuckled softly as she blushed a bit; maybe she wasn't so different after all. "So what's the topic of the day punkin pie?"

"Well…" She grabbed what he assumed was his folder and flipped open the files, her eyebrows shooting skyward at the crime scene photos from his various "adventures". Slowly her creamy coloring faded to white, strongly reminding him of when she'd been shot all those months ago and he idly wondered whose corpse she was seeing.

"You okay there, doc?" He managed to keep his grin lowered to politely interested as her big blue eyes glanced over to him, horror and disgust screaming out to him from their delicious depths before returning to the glossy shots.

"Yes its just I haven't seen your files before and umm…" She flipped through a few more pages and he watched her look through them, her eyes eagerly jumping to and fro as she quickly overcame her initial shock.

"Put that thing away," he grinned wider as she jumped at his voice, halfway grinning like a guilty child. _Much better_. "Its only going to answer the wrong question anyway."

"The wrong question?" Her dainty blonde head tilted slightly as she pondered his statement, he could almost see the little gears turning inside.

"Why I am here." He answered for her, watching as she lit up with inspiration before jotting more notes down into her book. He wished he could pull off the restraints, they were horribly limiting to his performance, but that might stress her and it wasn't time for that just yet.

"You know perfectly well why I'm here and it sure as hell wasn't for giving away free kittens," he gently teased. She laughed, a happy crystalline sound and he laughed along with her. Adopting a more supportive tone he continued. "That's better, now focus on what the right question is."

She actually thought about it for a moment, an action he thoroughly approved of, before tentatively putting forth her answer. "How do I help you?"

He leaned back in his chair as he tilted his head forward; playing up the dramatic shadows now cast across his face. "Hmm, now that's an interesting one. Do I take that to mean how do you _assist_ me," Raising his chin slightly allowed the light to catch his eyes making them appear to glow. It was all about the details after all. "Or how do you _fix_ me?"

"I don't understand."

"Of course you don't, not yet anyway." He shrugged, before leaning forwards once more, all eager earnestness and smiles. "But here's the truth doc, you can't fix me." She frowned slightly, unsure if he was insulting her or not.

"But by the end you _will_ assist me." 

_So Harley's a little stressed in this chapter and not so much fun but don't worry, she'll mellow out before too long!_


	12. Chapter 12

_I meant to get this up last night but when I got back from vacation I literally walked in, ate a spoonful of peanut butter and fell into bed. (It was all of 6pm lol.) Oh well I'm back and no worries out there, I promise I'm not giving up on this story! This chapter is a lot shorter than I'd like but it just refused to write itself longer while I was gone and it felt cruel to make you all wait longer._

"What happened to your neck?"

He'd noticed her little claw marks earlier while sitting patiently through the meeting but with all the moving she'd done recently the shallow scratches had cracked open and were bleeding slightly. He couldn't resist a quick lick across his lips though he managed not to grin too widely at her.

_Of the three times he'd seen her twice she'd been bleeding, definitely a keeper in his book_.

"Its nothing, an accident." She shrugged it off, clearly still unsure and unsettled by his previous comments. Rummaging in her pocket she pulled out a tissue and distractedly dabbed the blood away. "It was my own fault, I wasn't paying attention."

"Paying attention?" He paused for a moment as he thought it through. Logically she hadn't done it to herself and as far as his sources knew she didn't have a lover who would have left such a mark, which left…

He frowned, quickly feeling his features again turn darker. "So one of your patients did that to you." He felt his own nails digging into his skin through the restraints, his anger rapidly boiling out of control.

_Someone ELSE had hurt his toy! AGAIN!_"I'll be fine really, it doesn't even hurt." Utterly ignoring his now intimidating appearance and tone, she tried to laugh it off rather pathetically. "It's a good life lesson. No big deal."

"Oh you bet it is cupcake." He cooed as he barred his best evil smile, his eyes gleaming wickedly.

"What does that mean?" She leaned forward angrily; he mentally chuckled as he noticed that even now she wasn't afraid of him and wondered how far he could push that trust. "What aren't you telling me?"

"You're mine doc, that means hands off to everybody else."

She gapped at him, all big eyes and a perfect little o of a mouth. _Oh for some marbles or some such to toss in there. _"But this happened before I was assigned to you!" He smirked, she'd clearly heard something other than what he actually said. _Not his problem_.

"Nope, nope, nope, nope!" the silly voice he used almost made her smile, he could see it in they way her lips twitched before she pulled them back down into a frown. "They knew better."

"Are you saying that…"

Her words were rudely cut off as the large pair of guards who had escorted him to the meeting opened the doors and with barely a nod of acknowledgement began undoing the chains that kept Joker in his chair.

"Oops! Looks like our time's up." He giggled happily, all traces of his earlier creepiness gone. They finished quickly and he stood, languidly stretching himself out as best he could in the restraints, his muscles practically buzzing at being held captive for so long.

"Alright Joker, lets go."

"Bye bye punkin pie!" He turned away as she blushed, laughing every step of the way.

* * *

She watched as the guards led him away, his wild green hair bobbing along in time with his chuckles as he disappeared from sight. Glancing down at her notebook she felt her stomach drop as she realized she'd taken almost no notes at all. Somehow she doubted Dr. Arkham was going to accept two lines for a half hour session.

"Harley?" Joan's head popped into sight as she leaned around the doorframe before stepping inside.

"Yes?" she answered as she quickly shut her nearly blank notebook under the guise of gathering her things together to leave.

"How did it go?" Joan's supportive look made her want to hit something, an urge she was regrettably forced to squash.

"Well enough I suppose, though I can't wait to get in a few real sessions with him." Collecting her pile into her arms she brushed past Joan who merely turned and followed her down the hall, clearly not finished with the questions.

"You want to continue with this!"

"Of course." Stopping in the middle of the hallway she turned and faced Joan, determined to finish this annoying conversation as quickly as possible. "First of all, helping people like him is what I want to do with my life, secondly if I don't the asylum will be closed and that doesn't help anyone, us or the patients. And finally," behind her the sound of the buzzer from the patient transfer system made her glance over her shoulder. From between the two guards Joker grinned back as the doors slid closed.

"He's completely fascinating."

_Next chapter: Session two! What could they possibly talk about?_


	13. Chapter 13

_For everybody who didn't read the note on my profile page (which I'm going to guess was a good majority of you seeing as there's nothing much interesting on my profile page lol) I'm sure I look like a terrible person for not updating for so very long. But I do have a good reason!  
Long story shortened - my house burned down and I've been staying at a long-tern hotel till they can get it rebuilt (hopefully early this summer). So I've been plugging away at the nearby library computer trying to rewrite this monster of a story without losing any of the little details that are so important later.  
Though it really wasn't my fault I'm very sorry to make you all wait and I'm going to really try and get another chapter up by next week at the latest!_

"What's up doc?"

He giggled at the hackneyed joke, his good mood obvious even as his ever-lurking guards strapped him down. It looked a bit more _secure_ than strictly necessary, the restraints clearly digging into his patient jumpsuit to the skin beneath but she didn't comment and he didn't complain, instead choosing to simply grin and look at her expectantly. The guards, having finally finished tying him down, marched out the door without a single glance her way, abandoning her with the madman once again. Gathering her courage she decided it was best to just dive right in.

"Last night three of my patients died under highly suspicious circumstances."

Joker didn't bat an eye. "That must have freed up quiet a bit of your schedule."

Her mind boggled as he continued to sit and look at her anxiously. Her patients had clearly been beaten to death; the initial police reports agreed that the deaths were likely caused by severe head trauma. Due to the fact that all wounds were apparently based on the Three Stooges slapstick performances the obvious suspect had been The Joker, despite the lack of fingerprints, grinning faces or any other clues to connect him to the crimes.

The security camera tapes of Joker's cell block which could have settled the matter one way or the other had mysteriously recorded only static for nearly seven hours during the night. Even more mysteriously, half the cameras inside the entire compound had recorded static as well, upping the possible suspect list to well over three hundred patients, doctors, nurses and such combined. Dr. Arkham continually asserted that it was simply a freak coincidence, though the majority of the staff she'd chatted with agreed that the camera's malfunction had to have been the result of direct tampering. A chilling thought since that meant whoever had accessed the camera control room had clearly circumvented a good majority of the facility's security systems.

It had taken most of the morning to convince Dr. Arkham to allow her to go ahead with this session, pointing out that everyone, even Joker, was innocent until proven guilty and even then he probably wasn't guilty by reason of insanity, which was why he was here in the first place and all sorts of other twisting logic. Eventually the yelling died down, he'd chugged more pink stuff and she'd gotten her way.

"You didn't have anything to do with it did you?" Thankfully her tone remained coolly professional, a far cry from the inner turmoil she was actively struggling to hide from him, refusing to show any weakness.

"Now really doc, that's just low." His pride wounded he pulled a sad frown. "Implying that I would off some random nobodies just because I felt like it. Doesn't sound like me at all!"

As he spoke his grin slowly returned, by the end it stretched its usual arc across his face, clearly his feeling weren't as hurt as he'd pretended. She took the opportunity the conversational pause offered to scribble furiously away in her book. Though it hadn't been much, she'd added a few more lines after their first meeting and while Arkham might have been lenient with her notes the first time she doubted he'd extend his beneficence to a second.

"And all those other people you've killed? All the photo's of victims they keep in your file?" She asked, looking up at him as she spoke, watching him closely for any movements, emotions or expressions she could add to said file. "Did you kill those people?"

"Sure I did!" he joyously boomed, causing her to jump a bit in surprise. Of course he noticed it and laughed. "Come on sweetie, lighten up a bit! All that stress will make you crazy!" He crossed his eyes and stuck out the tip of his tongue for added effect, looking far more comical than killer.

"So you admit you killed all those people but not that you killed my patients." Refusing to play his games, she stuck to her guns, determined to get something out of him. Determined not to let this chance slip away.

He merely grinned.

"Exactly!"

* X * X * X * X * X * X * X * X * X * X * X * X * X * X * X * X * X * X * X * X * X * X * X * X * X * X * X * X * X *

"So you did kill them but just won't admit to it?"

Poor little Harley, she was trying so very hard. Really she wasn't so much stupid as inexperienced, but she'd accepted his case after all and she wouldn't learn anything if he made it too easy for her.

"Would it matter if I did or didn't admit to it? From your implications its clear that they were killed in a style similar to my own." His mysterious grin gave no hint to his guilt or innocence and he delighted in her small frown of frustrated confusion. Clearly finding out the truth was very important to her and he had the distinct feeling it was more than a matter of professional interest. "Therefore it doesn't matter who really killed them because he will simply add them to my list of victims." His wicked smile danced back across his face as his entire body seemed to suddenly become electrified, buzzing with excited energy. "Not that I care one way or another, I'm not keeping count, but _he_ is!"

"By 'he' you mean the Batman?" _The silly thing actually had to ask_! Sometimes he wondered if she wasn't a true blonde after all.

"The one and only!" Thoughts of his grim opponent filled his mind; _it had been so very long since they'd gotten to play together…_"Your file indicates you have a strong fixation on the Batman. Would you like to talk about him?"

The unthinking, almost carefree question rattled him angrily back into awareness. _How dare she_! To just throw about such a question without any thought or regard for the intensity of the subject or the obviously cosmic yet very personal nature of their connection.

"You know cutie pie, it's hard to just open up to somebody." His smile remained the same even as his voice dripped with acid, quickly burning away her eager look. "I mean we're basically strangers. For all I know you're just a pretty face Arkham hired to show up and smile at press conferences."

She'd paled once more as he spoke, her anger and shame bleeding into an injured expression that revealed far more than she suspected. Clearly she had thought something similar and if she doubted herself so much, so much the easier his job of re-shaping her into his ideal image of her! Drinking in her silent agony he savored her pain, thrilled at the information she so unthinkingly revealed.

"If that's how you feel, I'll recommend Dr. Arkham reassign you immediately," she said as she looked down and away from him, as though speaking to her notes.

Her voice, before so confident and secure, was now reduced to a pathetic whisper. _Poor thing, needing somebody to love and reassure her so badly…_ Ready to do anything for anybody who simply cared.

It was all so perfect.

Ignoring her comment, he leaned forward as best he could, softening his voice and expression to match her quiet hurt. "Harley." She glanced back up; unshed tears glittering brightly in her eyes. He imagined they tasted like sweet tarts. "Do you believe that I killed them?"

"Yeah." Her small voice sounded sweetly childish even as her tears spilled over to run slowly down her cheeks.

"Even after I said that I didn't?"

"You never actually said you didn't." She sniffled, determinedly rubbing her tear tracks away with the back of her hand.

He couldn't help his lopsided grin, upset and insecure and she still was trying to keep up with him. To prove she was worth something to him.

She managed a meager grin of her own as he smiled over at her.

"Time's up." The ill-timed arrival of his hulking guards quickly destroyed the fragile peace they had found. She turned away, pretending to write something in her book, pretending she wasn't an emotional wreck. It was so damned cute.

"Don't you worry doc," he muttered as they fumbled with the numerous restraints, his own eyes locking fiercely onto her baby blues as she glanced back up. "He won't hurt you again."

He watched as he was roughly led from the room as her pale hand unconsciously slid up to the now faint scratches on her neck, her face full of speechless wonder.

Grinning darkly as he was pushed into the elevator once more he quietly added, "Nobody _else_ ever will."

_Awww! A moment of creepy love between my favorite couple! What could be a better way to end this long over-due chapter? But don't you worry; we've got a lot more drama to plow through before we reach the end.  
_


	14. Chapter 14

_Hmm, well no reviews so I have no idea what anybody thought about the previous chapter. Hopefully it was at least acceptable. Anyway here's another, not so much action but it really focuses on how Harley is changing. _

Five hours later and her emotions were still in a spin.

Excited, horrified, elated, dismayed, all these and more crashed through her mind at dizzying speeds leaving her to wonder once more how he seemed to manage his own dramatic mood swings with such apparent ease. She'd caught herself thinking of Joker at least every three seconds since she had left their session, something she tried to justify as a strong but healthy professional interest in a case that would define her career, pointedly ignoring the strangely light feeling that accompanied these thoughts, _like a bubble floating on the breeze of a warm spring day…_

Fortunately her regular patients, the mindless drooling lunatics, were too unsettled from the violent attacks the night before on their fellow inmates to participate in therapy in any way, leaving her free to sit in her dingy office and ponder The Joker at length. She'd barely bit back her laughter when Dr. Arkham had dropped by and suggested asking the screaming idiots what they had seen and if they could identify the attacker. As if anything they might have to say would matter, assuming you could even understand their babble. Secondly, if they did know the murders were The Joker's doing they'd have to be suicidal or just plain stupid to admit to it.

She couldn't help the slight twinge of pleasure that crept into her conflicted thoughts. He'd never actually said it but he'd certainly implied he'd killed that creep for hurting her. Thinking back to their first session, she recalled his strangely possessive threats with a blush. The Joker was unpredictable and manipulative but there was nothing in his file to indicate he'd ever formed any kind of attachments to anyone other than the Batman. Though she'd never added their early flirty conversations to his file or mentioned the rose he'd given her, she had a strong feeling that such indications of interest were a not a regular occurrence. And while he had repeatedly killed to get Batman's attention, she doubted he'd done it to earn his approval. Of course she couldn't possibly approve of such violent actions even if they were acted out in defense of her honor.

_Especially since he'd insulted that same honor so soon after._Her mood plummeted once more as she remembered his painful insinuations and the biting tone in which he'd delivered them. How could he possibly have known how deeply she feared what he said was true? Yes her grades were excellent, but was that really why she'd been hired? Her time at school had reinforced some hard truths about success and what it really cost to achieve it. More than once wild theories had flown about in her mind regarding Dr. Arkham and she feared it was only the shortage of doctors that kept him in line. Treating the Joker had only made it worse. Now that she had such a high profile patient, a patient who could be taken from her without a moment's notice whenever the next doctor was hired, she dreaded the cost of keeping him.

She gritted her teeth angrily. Joker was hers!

_Fat lot of good it'd do to have him if he gave up on her!_

Cold tendrils of worry wormed through her gut as she remembered the strangely frustrated look in his eyes as he'd been taken away. _Was he disappointed in her for her questions? For not figuring things out on her own? For not understanding?_ Her palms began to sweat as she remembered pitifully offering to give up his case if he didn't want her. He hadn't answered at the time, but now that he'd had time to think about it she feared he would accept her offer.

_No!_

Next time, there had to be a next time, she'd try harder, listen closer, focus entirely on him. He'd see that she wasn't going to give up just because things got tough.

_She wouldn't let him down._

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

_Batman._

_Batman._

It had been _ages_ since he'd gotten to play with Batman!

Oh he could just strangle that dumb Doc for bringing _him_ up now! Like a burning itch just out of reach the irritating agony was slowly building, rising to a breathtakingly violent crescendo as his madness often did.

_Batman.  
_

_Batman_.

_Fuck it all it wasn't time yet_!

Dr. Quinzel had cracked open faster than even he'd thought; she was so perfectly poised on the edge. Just a little more, so very little more and she'd be ready. The deaths of her three patients had been a wonderful push for her. Instead of being horrified at the thought of him committing murder for her she'd been flattered and charmed, as though he was her very own white knight out to avenge his lady. Or rather a purple and green knight. She was so entrenched in her fairytale world she'd never even notice the danger till it was too late.

He snorted in frustrated laughter.

_Batman._

_Batman.  
_  
He _couldn't_ go. Not yet, not when everything was so close. Maybe one more session, he'd make sure it was a good one. Crank up the charm, throw her a nice tidbit or two to chew on, even play off her desperate desire to be wanted. Oh he wanted her all right, and not at all in the happily-ever-after way her pretty stories came to an end.

_Batman._

_Batman._

Still, all work and no play…

He grinned as one of the numerous nondescript guards casually wandered through for the final time before the night crew came in, a night crew who routinely sat and played cards in the secure and distant guard room, preferring to monitor their charges via the hallway cameras than actually facing the monsters at night. Perking up considerably, he cracked his spine in anticipation.

_It was going to be a fun night after all..._

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

_Hoping to get the next chapter posted sooner rather than later, it's just so hard to get any solid computer time in right now!_


	15. Chapter 15

_Hi all! Thanks again for hanging in here with me. I really can't stress how frustrating it is not to be able to work on this story whenever my little black heart wants to. But this chapter's a nice long one to tide you over for a while. (Hopefully)  
Some knowledge of Mad Love is required for this chapter to make sense, seeing as I wanted to include a pivotal scene but not repeat the whole thing. Honestly though, every true Joker or Harley fan should have already read it. Years ago. ;) Of course I still wander off into my own story as usual, but if you recognize it, its not mine. You'll understand when you read it.  
Also a shout out to my friends Emily and Maya 3 for leaving me such lovely reviews, you guys made me smile.  
_

Her chipper smile rapidly wilted away as he was led into her tiny interview room. Stoically he maintained a blank silence as she took in the heavy nylon restraints painfully digging into his wiry frame in mounting horror, gasping at the sight of his lean muscles bulging out obscenely around the tight straps.

_It was so nice to know his little toy cared._

"Excuse me!" she jumped up from her chair as the grim-faced guards determinedly ratcheted his chains down tighter than ever. "You cannot treat my patient in this manner!"

"Your patient" his chatty guard spat out in disgust. "Deserves far worse than this shit, believe me lady."

_Well somebody was in a grouchy mood today._

"Its Doctor Quinzel to you!" She angrily lashed back, stepping forward aggressively and jabbing her petite finger into the guard's sturdy chest. Her sudden spark of temper brought an amused smile to his lips he was careful to keep from her notice. "I demand that you loosen his restraints immediately!" Her accent, usually so faint, surged to the surface in her annoyance, yet another charming facet of his little diamond in the rough.

"Do it yourself Doc," the guard snarled as he followed his silent partner out the door. "He's _your_ patient."

Fists clenched, she was left to silently glare at the closed door.

Watching her determinedly breathing in and out through her nose, it was obvious she was trying some sort of calming trick for her temper, something he'd noticed her doing several times before. _A technique learned in Med School or sometime earlier?_ Either way it was worth filing away for later.

"They say that boys fight with girls they like." Blinking in confusion, she turned towards him slowly. "But I just don't think he's your type."

Her radiant smile beamed across to him at the random joke and he finally allowed his own wild grin to break free, matching her brilliant wattage as they laughed gently together.

"Well," she shrugged, feigning nonchalance as she stepped closer. "I guess if they won't loosen you up, I will."

"Oh Doctor," he cooed, winking seductively. "I can't wait!"

She blushed brightly as she awkwardly tried to recover. "No… that's not… what I mean was that…"

"Aww relax kiddo, I was just joking." _So damn cute_. He gave her his best charming smile, and delighted at how quickly she relaxed before him again. "I really would appreciate it if you'd loosen this contraption for me, honestly."

She was quick to comply, crouching down to reach the locks underneath his seat, a few loose strands of her fine blonde hair just tickling the skin on his hands. It brought to mind all sorts of lovely dark thoughts, _wrapping her hair around her slim throat till she turned as purple as his famous suit, or dangling her from some ridiculously lofty height by her stupid bun and counting how long it took for the thin strands to rip away..._ The unexpected sound of the chains hitting the floor instantly snapped him back to reality.

She cowered down next to him looking queasily horrified as if she thought he'd suddenly spring out at her and… it was probably best not to finish that thought he quickly decided.

"Thank you Harley, that does feel better." She visibly slumped as if in relief and he made sure to keep his voice honey sweet. "I'll understand if you don't want to loosen my harness," He glanced down at the restraints with disgust before pulling a sad smile. "I don't want you to feel insecure."

"No, I'll do it." Gulping down her fear, she stood up as he leaned forward in his chair allowing her access to the many hooks and straps holding him captive. "I'm not afraid of you."

Ever so slowly he felt the pressure across his chest relaxing as inch by inch she undid his bindings. To his shock he suddenly realized she was not merely loosening them but rather setting him free. He remained perfectly still as she slipped the harness off over his head, careful not to alarm his darling toy as she was still so flighty. She stepped back, clutching the restraints close to her chest, as if it might keep her safe if he should try anything violent, yet smiling triumphantly at him as if she'd just completed some monumental task and was awaiting his praise.

_Good girl_.

She cringed slightly as he twisted unexpectedly, the painful cracking sound of his neck and spine popping into place filling the room, but her bright smile effortlessly returned as he sighed heavily, rolling his stiff shoulders as though in absolute bliss.

"Oh Doc, that does feel good!" He gently rubbed at his arms, restoring circulation and allowing his sleeves to casually slide up knowing she would notice the angry red welts where the harness had rubbed him raw. Against his dramatically pale skin the virtually painless wounds looked quite alarming.

"How long have you been wearing this thing?" She asked quietly, concern filling her eyes as she stepped closer. Glancing down at the harness now in revulsion she promptly tossed the thing into a corner.

"It doesn't matter," He shifted slightly, hanging his head in shame as she slowly approached him. "I deserve it after the terrible things I said to you last time."

He could hear her breath hitch in her throat as her tiny feet halted their progress towards him. Glancing up from under his lashes he nearly burst into hysterical laughter when he saw the glimmering traces of tears in her eyes, barely managing to cover his giggles in a shuddering cough.

"I'm sorry."

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

_The poor man_!

He actually felt that he deserved to suffer physical pain for saying things that hurt her feelings! No one else had ever given a moment's notice about her or how she felt beyond how it could get them what they wanted, and now this man that everyone called insane not only cared without trying to gain anything from her, but accepted cruelty from others as a way of punishing himself for his supposed offenses. She blinked back the hot tears stinging her eyes, wanting nothing more than to reassure him, he looked so miserable and forlorn, a lost little boy in need of someone to hold him, to hug him, to love him.

_Just like her_.

Overcome, she took the final step towards him, wrapping her slim arms around his trembling frame, gripping him tightly and cooing comforting words into his ear. Feeling him shift beneath her, she tensed but as he pulled her into his lap, wrapping his own long arms around her she couldn't hold back a little squeak of joy. Hearing his soft rumble of laughter she sighed, nuzzling into his warm neck.

"What was that for?" he asked, his voice so gentle and sweet, yet it somehow still managed to rouse her from the blissful trance she was fast falling into.

"Nothing," she lied, suddenly feeling awkward and insecure.

_What was she doing!_ This was completely unprofessional! He was her patient! Flirting was one thing but physical affection was another matter entirely! If Dr. Arkham ever found out she'd be fired instantly, a black mark forever on her record even if they didn't revoke her license immediately. Pulling away abruptly, she tried to ignore the flash of hurt in his eyes as she stood and returned to her seat behind the desk.

"Well," she blushed as her damn voice betrayed her, both her accent and higher pitch slipping out in her flustered state. Covering it with a cough she hastily continued in her normal tone, jotting down some meaningless notes in her book to avoid his eyes. "How about we start our session?"

"Are you alright Harley?" Guilt gnawed away at her gut like acid as he looked at her with such confusion and concern.

"Yes of course." She smiled brightly, praying it would banish any of his thoughts of blame, she couldn't bear to see him hurt again because of her. "Now what would you like to talk about today?"

The pause that followed was pure torture. He sat so still and so silently, it was as thought not even a breath escaped his body. Unconsciously chewing at her lip, she worried she'd said the wrong thing yet again and was just about to apologize when he softly spoke.

"You know, my father used to beat me up pretty badly."

Of everything he could have said, it was the last thing she'd ever expected. His story shattered her heart into jagged shards; an innocent child just trying to win his father's attention and affection through comedy cruelly punished with unimaginable violence from that same uncaring father. She could only jot down a few notes here and there, the inky words blending with her tears, bleeding her pain across the lines.

"But hey, that's the downside of comedy." He shrugged self-depreciatingly, as if his tale of childhood trauma was unworthy of her silent tears. "You're always taking shots from folks who just don't get the joke." He sighed wistfully. "Like my dad."

She flinched as his voice unexpectedly deepened, his features morphing into a dark grimace of hatred as he continued. "Or the Batman."

She'd never even noticed when he'd stood, towering above her, too focused on his story, his pain, to worry about something as silly as personal safety around this wounded man they called psychopathic killer. All she knew was one minute they were making great progress in his therapy and the next chaos was erupting around her yet again.

"Holy shit! Joker's free!" The hulking guard who'd been so rude to her, now looked ready to wet himself as he quickly began shouting into his radio to the other guards from the open doorway. "Get this place in lockdown mode _now_!"

"No, its okay, really…" She jumped up intent of somehow convincing the panicking guard that she was fine, that everything was alright, that he was a cowardly bastard and was ten minutes early to boot.

She never got the chance.

She watched as though trapped in slow motion as from out of his multitude of pockets the guard yanked out a taser and without pausing to aim fired directly at Joker's face. Unable to look, she slammed her eyes shut, her mind screaming in denial, imagining she could smell the charred flesh as he thrashed under the painful onslaught of the direct hit of agonizing electricity. A muffled groan and a heavy thump nearly sent her into a faint but resolutely gathering herself together she opened her eyes, determined her poor Joker wouldn't suffer alone.

The guard lay face up on the floor, his own expressionless eyes a strange contrast to the cheerful carved smile bleeding across his cheeks. A small piece of broken black plastic from the taser's handle carelessly tossed beside his broken neck dripped crimson onto the grey floor tiles. Looking up in silent shock she watched as Joker finished contorting himself back into his restraining harness, the many straps already buckled into place, in the space of mere seconds it was as though he'd never been free at all. She felt disconnected, as if drugged, as he turned to her with a wicked grin as dozens of guards rushed into the room.

"Thanks Doc, I feel much better."

A heavy punch to the gut sent him crashing to the floor, an action that seemed to have little effect other than to activate his uncontrolled laughter. Roughly grabbing him by his shoulders, the bulky collection of enraged guards bodily forced him from the room, firmly ignoring both his jovial outburst and the dark blood now slowly oozing from his mouth. He barely paused in his giggles to send her a final smile as they took him away.

"Same time next week?"

The remaining guards followed him out, various weapons at the ready, leaving her alone with the fading sounds of laughter and the cooling corpse on the floor. Various Doctors and nurses hovered nervously in doorways along the hallway, eager to see the destruction yet terrified of its creator.

With a shaking step she resumed her position at the small interview table, her discarded and unfinished notes lying where she'd left them like artifacts from an ancient world. The smeared words of his story resounded in her mind, over and over, continuously returning her wavering focus to his tale's ending.

With a steady hand she added a single word, circling the bold letters.

**_BATMAN_**.

_Makes you wish I could update faster, doesn't it. _


End file.
